What are these curves I speak of? There's an inspirational author and academic called Arthur Brooks who writes for The Atlantic and coined the term 'second curve' in his 2023 book 'From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life'. To be honest, this book was one of the catalysts putting me in the headspace to birth The Wiser Me. I believe there's a cleaner midpoint in a man's life however, and since women are more complex biologically, hormonally, and emotionally, I added an extra curve into the mix (respect to Mr. Brooks). Here's how I think about the female evolution over time.
First Curve - Inclusive of childhood, puberty, and formal education. We begin as blank slates, and through learned experiences we gradually adhere to social norms and are shaped by our families and communities. But in this curve, we are continuously trying new things, seeing what sticks and how it makes us feel. We are completing our education, getting that first job, dating, and finding ourselves.
Second Curve - Career and/or family growth takes up space here. Perhaps you married. Perhaps you put a career first. Perhaps you balanced both. This is where you put your head down and do it all. Responsibility to yourself, your relationships, to the corporate ladder or advancement of your art and self. Possibly bringing new life into the world and becoming a mother which alone is everything! If you continue to work, you are a Superwoman. Regardless, you probably are a badass shining brightly in this curve.
Third Curve - You've been doing everything for everyone else for decades. Your body's hormones are shifting and you're starting to not feel like yourself. You may feel an assortment of symptoms making up your menopause transition. Your kids are grown and don't need you (much), your parents are aging and/or passing and you've fully fallen to the bottom of your own priority list over the years. Your career could be stagnating, you've aged out of job progression, or decided to leave the workplace entirely due to lack of interest/conflicting needs/the patriarchy. Most days you are just going with the flow of habits you've created over the years. The relationship with your partner may be on the rocks or has it ended? Perhaps you look in the mirror and wonder who you are and how you got here. Women during this curve can feel unseen or invisible. Or perhaps it's much more subtle but there's a sense of loss. When you have fewer responsibilities and more time, you might start looking around for something more fulfilling in your life, this is where things get juicy.
To all you women in your third curve, I encourage you to start seeking,... community, adventures, wellness, education, deep connection, satisfaction. The Wiser Me is here to give support as you take those first steps. It's never too late to start a journey of rediscovery and figure out how you want to live this important curve of life. You may no longer be raising children (older teens don't count ; ) and while you are likely still working, hopefully there's space to pivot and find what feels good again, even in menopause. And surprise.... you can actually put yourself at the top of your list again. Time to celebrate the amazing and wiser woman that you have become. Time to live fully and THRIVE!
This post pairs well with 'Superwoman' by Alicia Keys
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No AI was used in the writing of this blog... for better or worse.
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